When I AM asked where I draw my strength from . . . My answer will always be from God and from this pretty lady right here #MommyDearest

God told me in the earlier stages of mommy’s Alzheimer’s disease that He would be my strength and He also reminded me that I draw my strength from the strong woman that birthed me and raised me and to this day carries a special place in my heart that only she can fill

At times I find myself drifting away in the thought of how I will feel once she’s no longer here to fill that space and unfortunately lately that time seems to be closer that I would like to think about or accept!

I try hard to replace those thoughts with something else immediately BUT most times I find that hard to do

I have been tremendously blessed to have both of my parents to live to be in their late 70’s .. the thought of losing her nearly makes me lose my breath and the very thought that the inevitable seems to be drawing nearer leaves me speechless!!!

I Want to, but …

I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to cuss
I want to run away
I want to ignore it
I want to hide under a rock
I want to… do anything other than come to grips with the fact that I Am losing pieces of her daily and even more rapidly in these last few weeks

I’m screaming God help
God Noooooo

But again I AM reminded of where my help comes from and even the more where my strength comes from each time that I pray and feel His comfort and each time that I walk into mommy’s room and she’s resting so peacefully as pictured…

I vowed to her, to God and to my family that as long as God gives me the strength she will be home . . . A facility isn’t an option …
With everything within me I AM going to stand strong and firm on my end of the bargain

God Thank You for your peace in the midst of an ongoing brewing storm

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🙌🏾God, I Thank You🙌🏾

Thank You for never ever ever leaving me

Signed
Bessie’s Daughter
Her 2nd Born
The Pamtastic One that YOU choose to Strengthen daily to bare the inevitable

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Alzheimer’s you suck but you want win . . . Even when mommy draws her last breath and I sigh a big sigh and probably cry a ugly cry,
God still wins and she still wins because she will be resting in the bosom of our Almighty God

God I Thank You

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I don’t know how much time she has, none of us do . . .and I dare not try to count or number her days but God one of my many prayers is to allow me to be everything she needs me to be in each and every moment that you bless us to have together ❤

To my readers . . . THANK YOU for sharing in my therapy, in my release. . . When I can’t find the strength to cry, I write it out. . . As long as I can get it out, all is well with my soul . . .